


Identity Crisis

by SifaShep



Series: The Reluctant Biotic: Vee Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Mass Effect 2, commander vee shepard, previous shenko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-27 10:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5045074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SifaShep/pseuds/SifaShep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vee Shepard struggles to master her new skills as a biotic. Her difficulties are not all physical.</p><p>This takes place during ME2, after Horizon and after Grunt and Samara join the crew. Previous Shenko.</p><p>I always wondered what might happen if you changed Shepard’s specialty between ME1 and ME2. Vee was an Engineer-turned-Sentinel. How would she react to suddenly becoming a biotic…when no one asked her permission?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“That’s it, Commander. You’re a quick study.”

That was one hell of a compliment, coming from an Asari Justicar. Vee gritted her teeth as she leaned against the wall. Her muscles trembled with exertion. This was worse than physical training during her N7 days. It was, in more ways than one.

She had never had biotics before, so she’d never had the training. All Asari did; it was a fact of life, even if the talent varied from person to person. Six months ago, Vee Shepard had been an engineer, content to tinker with all kinds of technology. Now she was rated a Sentinel. Still tech-based, but with an added complication.

“Aim slightly next to your target, Commander, so your attack goes in an arc. That is helpful when the enemy is in cover and you cannot reach them any other way.”

Vee launched a Throw that caught Grunt by surprise. The Krogan yelled as it pitched him sideways and floated him halfway across the room. He landed hard, rolled, and was back on his feet in minutes.

“Good shot,” he grumbled. “Bit more and you’ll be knocking over husks and Reapers in no time.”

“Thanks, Grunt,” Vee replied as she sat on the mats and stretched her legs out to cool down.

“If it makes you feel any better, all I had were the tank imprints to help me at first. Had to do everything from scratch.”

Samara gave him a look that was almost motherly. “True, but you had Shepard and others to assist you. Just as we are helping her now to adjust to her new powers.”

“Not like I had a choice,” she grumbled. Vee forced herself to learn how to use her biotics for combat. It was a rather steep learning curve on the battlefield. She needed to master skills that most biotics spent a lifetime to learn.

Hell, she missed her engineering drones. Tali sympathized with her; what would  _she_  do without Chittika vas Paus? The Quarian encouraged her to open her ‘horizons’, so to speak.

_I wish Kaidan were here. He could have helped me–_ Vee cut that thought off before it started. Kaidan had made his feelings known on Horizon. She didn’t blame him, she wasn’t angry at him. She was angry at herself for not telling him what was really going on with Cerberus.

Zaeed’s opinion of him was plain. “He’s a jackass, Shepard. He should know you better and that didn’t give him the right to fly off the handle like that. He should’ve let you explain instead of tearin’ into you. What gave him the right to judge?”

It wasn’t that simple; Zaeed wouldn’t have known. If their positions had been reversed, Shepard admitted she’d react the same way if it had been Kaidan with Cerberus.

“–will take time to master, but I am confident she will do so.” Samara’s hand on her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts. “I do appreciate your assistance in this, Grunt.”

He laughed heartily and shook his head. “Anytime, and anything for Shepard. Now I gotta get somethin’ to eat. Hope Kasumi has some ramen; I’m starvin’!”

Vee grinned at his words. “You’re  _always_  hungry, Grunt.”

“He’s still growing,” Samara reminded her.

Grunt waved at them as he left the exercise room. Vee sighed and mopped the sweat off her forehead. “I swear, I feel like his mother.”

“For all intents and purposes, you are. He considers me the 'glowy blue biotic auntie’.” Samara’s expression became serious. “You push yourself too hard, Commander. Your progress is amazing, considering you were unfamiliar with biotics before this. All you need is practice. You have the basics down.”

Vee shook her head and replied, “I _need_ to get better at this, Samara. It could mean the difference between life and death while we’re fighting the Collectors and the Reapers.”

“I am quite aware of that.” Samara frowned. “Just  _how_  did you become a biotic? Did it come late for you? I know that happens sometimes among the Asari.”

“No. I hadn’t been a biotic. Not until–” She pushed the nightmares away, of seeing the original Normandy crumbling apart in space. “When Cerberus rebuilt me…Jacob warned me there might have been 'a few extra parts’. Of course, I didn’t know just how many.”

“Cerberus gave you biotic power? Is that even possible?”

“I hadn’t thought so…until I woke up in that facility and discovered I was a completely new person. I’ve always been first and foremost an engineer. I was happy with my tech; always left the biotics to people like Kaidan–Staff Commander Alenko. Now I have to learn a whole new set of skills.”

Samara didn’t say anything for several heartbeats. Then, “I understand from Jacob that you had to be practically rebuilt nearly from scratch, so to speak. That your injuries were…tremendous.”

“Yeah, they couldn’t exactly ask my permission at the time. 'We have some spare eezo; mind if we use it on you?’ Right.”

“Did you ask them why?”

“I  _tried_. Miranda refuses to answer the question. I have the feeling it’s a touchy subject between her and the Illusive Man.”

“Then perhaps you should ask her again, for your peace of mind. They may have rebuilt you, but you are still an individual. You have the right to know the truth.”

Vee nodded. Samara was right; this issue nagged at her ever since Freedom’s Progress. If she was going to lead this team through the Omega 4 relay, her mind needed to be clear of distractions.

“You’re right. I’ll ask her and this time, I won’t take no for an answer.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miranda tells Vee the truth about her reconstruction. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Miranda Lawson dreaded this moment, but she knew it would come sooner or later. She met Shepard's cool gaze from across her desk. The commander refused to leave her office until Miranda told the truth. Miranda didn't expect any less from Commander Divina Shepard. The woman was the living definition of  _stubbornness._

"I know it's been a a rough transition, Shepard," Miranda said softly, "and I apologize. I had to choose among many poor options during Project Lazarus. This was the best of the lot."

Vee crossed her arms in front of her chest and inclined her head. It was a familiar mannerism: _I'll take your words under consideration, but I might not agree with them._ It was almost eerie how Miranda could read the commander's body language. It gave her hope that Shepard might be rational about this.

"I'm listening, Miranda."

Miranda stood up and leaned against the edge of her desk. "Did Jacob tell you how...bad your injuries were, when they found you?"

"He wasn't graphic, but I got the gist of it."

She nodded and said, "He was right. The first project director wasn't even sure it was _possible_ to resurrect you. So the Illusive Man chose me as his replacement. Such an extensive reconstruction had never been tried before. We had to...improvise on a few things."

Vee's eyebrow climbed higher at the words. "Improvise?"

"Yes, as much as I hate to admit it. Not everything went according to plan." Despite herself, Miranda laughed under her breath. She remembered those long hours in the labs, as she and the scientists pored over the information. The arguments, the simulations, the roadblocks, the little triumphs. The daily reports to the Illusive Man. He made it clear that failure was  _not_ an option.

"We tried many techniques, many ideas. Cerberus developed a whole new area of nanotechnology from scratch. We even found new ways to use existing tech by adapting familiar power sources."

Vee shook her head. "I know I have nanotechnology in in my system, Miranda. That isn't exactly a secret."

"Yes, but the system is...unique in one way." She chose her words carefully. "You are--were--an engineer, Commander. All life needs energy in some form to survive. Food, generated power...if you don't have a power source, life dies. The nanotech in your system, they weren't working they way we wanted. Finally, the bioengineers decided to use something to jump-start the process."

Vee frowned as she tried to understand the jargon. "So you had to use an alternate power source to keep the nanotech from failing, and to keep me from dying."

"Yes. If we hadn't, you would've died. Permanently. Project Lazarus would have been a colossal failure."

"And we've seen how the Illusive Man deals with failure."

Miranda's mouth twitched in response. "Yes."

"And that 'alternate power source'...it wouldn't have happened to be element zero, would it?"

Miranda winced. "You have it in one, Commander. The effect was the same as if you were exposed to it in your mother's womb. The nanobots reacted positively to the eezo. So you ended up with biotic powers as a result."

Vee sat still, her face unreadable. Miranda held her breath, for now the Commander knew the truth about her reconstruction. Well, part of it, anyway. There were other secrets that needed to stay buried...for now.

"Your father did extensive genetic modification on you, Miranda, and you hated it. Then you did the same thing to me--"

" _To save your life._ If we hadn't, you wouldn't have come back, Commander. Would you have rather been dead, or alive with biotic powers? The Illusive Man wanted you to be the same as you were before you died. I tried to keep it that way...but some changes were inevitable."

Vee clamped her jaw shut. Miranda sighed and averted her eyes. "I won't say I'm sorry, Commander. I did what I had to do."

"I'm sure." She got to her feet. "I'm not angry at you, Miranda...it's just a lot to take in at once."

"I understand. This was why I was so reluctant to tell you the truth. I wasn't sure how you'd react. I know that Samara is helping you with your new powers. It's quite an adjustment, and you're handling it remarkably well."

"Thanks...I think. I get to tell Doctor Chakwas that she was right about something being 'strange' about me."

"If Doctor Chakwas has any questions, I can answer them to the best of my ability."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for being honest with me, Miranda."

"You deserve the truth, Commander. I only hope that you understand."

Vee nodded and left the office without another word. Miranda sighed and leaned back against her desk. _Well, that could've gone a lot worse. She just needs time to accept it._

Time that they didn't have, thanks to the Collectors. Well, Shepard was practical. She couldn't change biology, but she proved excellent in adapting to new situations. 

At least, Miranda hoped so, in this case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this happens during ME2, they haven't met Clone!Shep yet.
> 
> That'll be explained too, in a future story. :-)


End file.
